2017

YEAR FLASHBACK

Life gets so busy and sometimes it's nice to sit down and think of the awesome, great, not so great and well, the things you'd like to forget ever happened.  Start a new year and not into the new year new you sort of motto but more like new year and newer reasonable goals. 

My goals, I have so many so I have to be realistic...let's just say becoming an astronaut or sailing the world on a boat wouldn't be in my cards for busy life and obligation reasons but what I have I must be grateful.  Even if I'd like to ditch all obligations and go into hiding.  Good thing I don't have kids right now...no offense to the mothers but life is hard enough on your own with work, finances, life...kids.  I would've been an amazing and giving mother, that's all I know since I'm the nurturing kind but sometimes a woman needs a break.  Me, I don't get many.

This year I've gotten to see Paris Fashion week, meet so many talented people I couldn't have been more grateful.  Life has handed some awesome opportunities to excel and it's been a productive year.  I'm still learning how to juggle my jobs, but refuse to let go of either.  They both are rewarding but definitely grateful to have hired new muscle for 2018. 

I may have loved hard and had to let go of a big love.  That is hard but sometimes moving past is a positive and not in reverse if it all stays the same.

I got proposed to for a green card...oh boy!  That man is so sweet I cared for him and had compassion but man o man what says romance like a fake marriage.     AMIRIGHT? Nope.  His intentions...wow!
It started out amazing and then fell flat.  Him and I are somewhat talking and he's better living in the USA with a new job.  Good for him.  I don't get pressured for marriage now, that's good.  What a random thing that happened stemming from a friendship and a desperate attempt to leave a bad government.  Love is the most passionate and chemistry made thing that happens organically.  

Dated a Mayor who's just as busy as me, can't say I'd date someone that busy again.  Two busy people equals a busy busy busy life with no romance at all. Go figure? HA!  Sweetest guy but talk about the movie 50 first dates.

Accepted into CBS Press along with past TLC and Lifetime channel.  I feel truly grateful for anything that helps my job.

Traveling all over this year has been a tricky thing since I can't say anything is better than my bed at night.  BED BED BED.....the best bed in the world is mine and hotels...sometimes have good beds.  I roomed with some people I know and love on NYC trips to save money but man they love to turn up the cooler.   I'm all about the tropical weather climate here and catching solo zzzz's.

Photographed a campaign or two.  More on the way with someone...so excited!  She works with all the high end designers and can't wait to start working for her.

My mother almost passed away again due to heart failure, she bounced back but when your mom is on the bed talking about power of attorney and your mind blanks out...it's not an easy transition back to normalcy after she gets treated and recovers.  She is the biggest gift for me and my brother.  The gift of a mothers life is fragile and her love knows no limits.  My love knows no limits for my family and would push them out of the way of a moving bus or save a life any-day.

I was caught in a trap at the airport for sex drug trafficking where they tried to lure me and manipulate me.  At this age, nothing gets past me and it wasn't a success for them obviously so I joined iEmpathize to help fight the very issue that disgusted me.  He touched my hand, the man at the airport.  The very hands that drug, solicit and rape women, the very hands that defile all good.  My hands will be put to good use.  

I was asked by someone I don't know to be paid to sleep with them for allowances and he was serious...some rich millionaire.  If you can't find love with money, you certainly can't turn a good woman into a hooker.  I'm shocked at behavior which sex should be the most amazing gift you can give someone.  It's supposed to be normal, right?  ohmygosh there are so many abnormal people in the world it astounds me.   My reply should be obvious to anyone with a decline.

Momma once said...if you are broke and feel the need to become a stripper, come home.  

Still makes me laugh...it was a joke but still I had to reiterate her words.  But...truthfully after this millionaire proposed this and however random our encounter was, it made me bawl for ten minutes straight.  How defiled I felt even for that moment.

I have a kids book all lined up, officially a children's author.  I have two magazines I publish a year and photography business I run.  Off to PFW again and more trips for 2018.  What will I do differently?  Take time for myself and officially get my home.  I had one but am looking for the same kind of home and might move to the beach.  That is where I'll finally get my puppy because after my house comes my puppy, not the other way around.  It's not fair to have them not have a space to run.

I got my first wrinkles at 37!! Let's just say God is good :) 

Romance, I know someday I'll meet the right guy who will be genuine, kind, compassionate, non judgmental, love will know no limits and loyal to the very end.  Someone that sets my heart on fire, that is what I've been waiting for my whole life but love comes softly and love has it's own timing.  I just haven't found "that thing" yet.  I can't wait for the moment all the stars align and I have that "I know it's you" moment.  My timeline and finding that thing is slower than most, but I don't have baby fever or have a biological clock since I can't conceive kids so I guess that's a really big positive.  Some women who have that and are older single, it makes me glad I don't feel that desperation.  Maybe only the desperation to feel that heart on fire feeling like I felt in 2009 for a few years.  So long ago and never since.  That's the thing I've been waiting for and when I'll find it I might say "where the hell have you been my whole life!!?!?!" In a funny way of course.

Happiness is friends, family, kindness, compassion, empathy, love, my house & my puppy.  All the material things in the world can't make up for the good things in your heart and what good you can do with your hands.

~IN ALL THINGS SMILE AND BE GRATEFUL~