Boy my opinions have changed over the years. I love becoming older, because I notice how much more accepting and open minded I am to all different kinds of people and circumstances.
Granted judging people comes naturally to everyone, sometimes we need to catch ourselves before we speak. Example 'Jersey Shore Boy' {Insert foot in mouth}.
My fabulous girlfriend and I went on a fun friendly outing in Denver to get some burgers when a group of men came up and asked to share our booth. Pretty good looking guys and pretty entertaining to talk to. A couple were older 30's and one 28. One who looked like a jersey shore boy was particularly interested in talking to me which is flattering but not my type. The discussion of my age came up, "32" I said. He looked shocked, then proceeded to say the worst A-hole comment you could make... he said " Excuse me but anyone who looks like you over 30 yrs, never been married has got to have something wrong with them, just speaking the truth". His friend looked like he was going to smack his friend. I wouldn't have minded.
I calmly looked at him and then proceeded to ask "Are you single?" He said yes, I asked again "Have you been married?" He replied yes and mentioned getting a divorce. I then said " So what is wrong with you? If you are single and divorced so soon, there has to be something wrong with you? I've been engaged and personally am glad I didn't marry anyone from my past, so that's not a bad thing because I wouldn't have been happy". I admit I then said something far from lady-like. I told him not to be a D*ck. He totally was in my defense. Even if he was paying me with an odd-ish compliment.
After that night I started thinking about Marriage and Society.
My thoughts on Marriage
Honestly I've never felt "that thing" for a person, don't judge. Close though.
I've had many friends marry, some really early and some later in life. Quite a few have divorced and let me say I don't enjoy hearing the heartbreak from my closest friends. I love them dearly. They are those who tried and I wouldn't say 'failed' but sometimes things just don't work out. But all their experiences seem to scare me from "settling" or finding a person just because society says a woman needs to have kids and be married in order to be happy. There are many un-happy marriages also. Personally wouldn't it be better to find a wonderful person that fits your bill with wonderful qualities that compliment each other? I have also heard of 'Starter Marriages'. Women like that scare me and men. Who take something so beautiful and make it casual and don't take it seriously. Isn't that like strapping the motto 'ball and chain' on for real? How emotionally exhausting, lying to yourself and your partner to make others happy that you got married or gain an extra status.
Love is beautiful and sacred in my opinion. But with divorce rates higher than ever, it's better to wait till you're ready to make such a huge commitment to one person. After all, you are playing apart of their emotional well-being.
I actually wouldn't mind never getting married. It's not a priority and it doesn't bother me. But I support those who do of course, absolutely. I have plenty of single and divorced friends getting older. Life is life, we all have our own unique time-line.
Society
Disney love films, we've all seen them. Standards of love on film created in some fantasy way is not healthy. Although sweet and fun.
Who said by a certain age you need to have this or that. Are we saying "settle" because society needs us to be a certain way to be acceptable?
This definitely isn't the 50's where we need to live by certain cookie cutter standards.
So I guess to Jersey shore boy...I'd say "I'm completely un-apologetic for not having married someone I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with and have 2 kids and divorced by age 27." Which is what I for saw. There are so many circumstances to people choosing to just be single the rest of their lives, to never have children. Some don't want them, it's their preference. I say bravo for not having one and regretting it or not meeting the child's sufficient needs.
I guess my point is lets be less judgmental of each other and respect all our different opinions and life-styles/beliefs. We all don't think alike and of course we all have things that are 'wrong with us' as in things that we need to work on to be better/happier human beings.
Let's celebrate our differences, not criticize.
